Dear Boss/Teacher/Warden (circle one):


Please excuse the bearer of this note, (your name here), from work/school/solitary confinement (circle one) from June 9, 2006 until July 9, 2006. Let me assure you that this absence is unrelated to the football World Cup which will take place in Germany at that time. S/he will, unfortunately be suffering from a recurring ailment that may or may not be contagious/require surgery/exist.


(Your name here) simply wants to thoughtfully pre-schedule this year’s family obligations/chicken pox/prison-riot-related injuries (circle one) ahead of time for efficiency’s sake. This is in the long term interest of all concerned. It is in this vein that (your name here) hopes to return on July 10 tanned, rested and ready to win the employee of the month award/school spirit award/time off for good behavior (circle one).


If you have any questions, please feel free to contact me at any time, as long as its 45 minutes past the hour.


Sincerely,
You