Now may be I’m just the worrying type, but even coming off the back of the 5 goal hammering of Fulham, I was still a bit nervous. Yeah, we had seemingly got over our “striking crisis” and we were playing a Newcastle side with such a shaky defense even OJ Simpson’s lot would struggle to make a case (allegedly). But I was still nervous.

Again Crouch missed his obligatory early chance, but this time he made up for it himself with a great goal a couple of minutes later. It was a great move and a fantastic cross from the ever improving Kromkamp. At first it looked like he’d hit it in with his knee as the ball was only about 5 foot in the air. But when you see it in slowmo you realise not only did he mean it but that he’d done fantastically well to come off the shoulder of one defender to move in between 2 to get his head to the ball. Nil - 1


This was followed by an even better goal. Another flowing move with this time Cisse supplying the cross. A great cushioned header and one/two between Gerrard and Crouch and BANG - Nil - 2.

We were cruising, but then just before the half-time a decent move by Newcastle saw Ameobi score. Whilst it was clear Ameobi was on side it was equally clear that Shearer wasn’t. Now I'm not saying the goal should have been chalked off – but by fuck I didn’t half wish we’d had the same linesman at the Charlton game. Hey ho! 1 - 2.


The crowd understandably woke up and it seemed like we could be heading for another one of those games with Newcastle. However, just 7 minutes into the second half Boumsong paid his own tribute to the ending of the six nations rugby with a tackle any flanker would have been proud of. Off he went (eventually) and up stepped Cisse and calmly slotted into the bottom left hand corner (his) of the net. 1 - 3.
That was about all that was calm, Cisse clearly still pent-up with the angst all our other strikers have exercised lately decided to get his kit off and run to the Newcastle fans. This got the expected reaction and a minute or later Cisse decided to give them a little “bring it on” gesture - a gesture for which he later apologised – and this increased the noise to fever pitch.


It doesn’t half make you laugh, for 90 minutes football fans scream and yell the worst kind of abuse you can think off and one small hand gesture and they're all running to the nearest policeman and ringing lawyers to see if they have a case for suing for the stress caused them by some nasty footballer.


Anyway, apart from a couple of great dives by Given to deny Alonso and Kromkamp and one even better dive by Bowyer, because he’s a twat, that was the game rapped up and an end to a much better week than the last one.


Lets look forward now to getting at both Birmingham and Everton in the week to come.


“The Jens Lehman Twat of the Week Award”


Each week this will be awarded to that special person who has made a significant contribution to the world of football. Well, what a week it's been – before announcing the winner I’d like to give an honorary mention to one which nearly made it:


The referee of the Blackburn v ‘Boro game – Mr. C Foy.


Now I am sure over the comings months a certain Mr. Savage will appear in this section himself but the 2 yellow card decisions on Saturday were amongst the stupidest I have ever seen. I can only assume Robbie farted at the wrong time to get the first one and the second was clearly for not being fast enough to get his arm out of the way of a ball smacked at him from about an inch and a half. Its amazing that referees can do this and then do fuck all about the sort of antics that claim this week's main prize.


Yes – this weeks Jen Lehman Award goes to:


The Whole of the Chelsea Team and this won’t be the last time THAT happens.


Having seemingly learnt nothing from the West Brom game, once again they covered themselves in glory by running from all four corners of the pitch to scream, shout and spray at the officials when they had the sheer audacity to send off Gallas for playing trampoline with the legs of a Fulham player. The 'Special One' nearly redeemed himself with what seemed like a genuine hug for Coleman at the end of the game. But unfortunately spoilt it all minutes later by talking to the press and saying that he believed the Fulham players were trying to influence the referee. By fuck, has this man got no shame? What does he think Terry et al were doing when they gave the officials the hair dryer treatment?


So lets end with a plea.

Please, The FA – help referee’s to stop fannying around giving out yellow cards for players taking their shirts off to show how much they love their families or giving out cards for being stupid, Welsh and having long hair and get to grips with the real twats spoiling the game. If the FA announce that with immediate effect anyone shouting, swearing or even giving an official an ugly look will be given an automatic red card and 5 game ban – I can assure you managers will have their players under control in seconds – even the not-so 'Special one'.